Why have my eyes deceived me when looking at the beauty you contain
The honey sweet speckles in the iris around your gazing pupils
I question our existence while entangled in your arms
For the wind in the dark night sky only illuminated slightly by the moon and the stars gives me a sensation that the moment we are in now is real
The nausea within me at times strangles me with my own thoughts
What is the point of goodbyes when there is no true goodbye until the inevitable end?
But I have been deceived, for what seemed to be a wonderful I-thou experience has turned solemnly into an I-it
My body is an endless garden, being picked and stomped on
And while you clear out the weeds of my life and plant a beautiful array of roses, the brick wall barrier is a constant struggle to climb over
Your eyes say nothing and everything and I find myself terrified
Terrified of the unwritten black ink being spilled onto my blank sheet of paper staining what some may call my life
I know that one day I may find it within myself to embrace the truth that I have control over my life
Yet while I strive to break free of the contingent chance of being one with each other
I realize that I need your existence and warmth to give me solid validation that I am alive
There is a nuance in the way we see the world, my eyes can see the truth that hides behind your tightly closed eyelids, too afraid to open them and see the world around you that you are so idly living in
Day after day the end starts to become more impending, slowly eating away at my memories and body
But in this Garden of Eden I believe there is still hope for your place within my life
Our souls adjacent to one another make it difficult to come to terms with the way in which you let yourself be blinded by unfamiliarity
While I bestow my love in the simplest form to you, I realize that it is non intelligible and that I will only ever be an I-it in your beautiful eyes.





